Part of My Charm

This week has been tough, ya’ll.

Tuesday brought the return of a new school year. It was exciting, scary, familiar and challenging. Going from two part time jobs, a few days off a week and a lot of leisure time, to a real schedule. Back to the grind. I’m excited for the regiment and experience and to get myself really prepared for the work field.

Tuesday also meant RB was going away, so it was a bittersweet day for me. I was starting something new, but I couldn’t share it with him. The trip had been planned for months and it was kind of cute seeing how excited he got, and how he prepared and packed for it. Of course, all while I’m going, “Please don’t leave me, baby!” But really, I’m glad he went. It’s been more difficult than I expected but going from constant communication to nothing? Bit of a challenge.

Tuesday night brought anxiety and tears, even after a breezy first day at school where I saw my friends that I had missed so much. Going to bed without so much as an, “I love you,” or a hug just doesn’t cut it for me, so I put off sleep as long as I could. My eyelids drooped but I didn’t want to go to bed alone. Sleep finally took me, but it was a lonely night.

Wednesday morning came and it brought a new day. I wasn’t with RB but I felt a little bit better and a little renewed. I thought of how sweet the reunion would be, after spending a solid week apart with very little communication, and I felt better. Before RB left, he told me that this time apart would be good for us, that it’d remind us how much we need each other. I was skeptical then, but now, no more. This week has been full of thoughts about our relationship, memories of the past, and daydreams of our future. I’ve realized that I can live without him, but honestly, I don’t want to. There’ll be trips to come, some together and others apart, but I can deal with that. I told my dad yesterday that I had no doubt in my mind that I wanted to marry RB. I was sure of it before, but I feel even more strongly about it now. He is an amazing partner and I will do everything in my power to make our relationship the best it can be.

Tomorrow brings his return and I’m already so giddy, I don’t know how I’m going to make it until then. His plane lands at midnight on Tuesday, so I imagine it’ll feel like an eternity passing until night comes. I swear, I am going to attach myself to his face and live there for a few days. He’s my lobster.

P.S. I’m slow and didn’t realize that I had a UTI until yesterday, when I woke up and thought my kidneys may explode. My dad came to the rescue, drove me to the walk-in clinic, paid for my prescription and rubbed my back while we drove home. He’s multi-talented and very sweet. I’ve got a doctor’s note and will probably be off school until Wednesday. It’s only my second week and I’m missing classes already. Not all that happy about it but it was my own fault for not realizing what it was. I’m ready for this rough week to be over!